love: fall-ing.

courtesy of weheartit.com

 

It's that time of the year – no, I’m not talking about Christmas; not that time of the year. The leaves start to change and the chilly weather begins to trickle in bit by bit. The cardigans and heavier sweaters are brought out, every single store is selling some kind of pumpkin spice latte whatevers, and Halloween is on every mind.  

It's all starting to hit me that this whole college thing is real; I'm here for the next four years and no matter how much it seems like it, it's not summer camp. While some friendships become stronger, others start to weaken as we begin to find out more and more about the kind of person they are. Friends start to couple up, everyone's settling into a rhythm, and everything begins to seem more permanent.

That's right, folks. Fall is officially here.

I know, I know. I have a Romanticist's point of view of Fall, but can you blame a girl if she wants to sit on a bench in Central Park while a rich, golden orange colored leaves fall around her as "Autumn in New York" plays in the background? What can I say? I love a good Louis/Ella duet.

There’s always this feeling of nostalgia and ending when Fall comes. On second thought, I take that back. The arrival of Fall signifies and ending and a new beginning. We say goodbye to those glorious, hot, careless summer days, and invite that sometimes cold, sometimes breezy Fall weather in along with that warm, fuzzy feeling that makes you just want to curl up with a boy and a good sweater.

I don’t know about you guys, but Fall is always on top of bringing me these two things.

On top of that, Fall, is bringing me something else: the importance of patience.

It all started with Mr. Doe Brown Eyes, a guy that had (and still has) me on the edge of my seat since 'hello'.  It was a wacky scenario. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl talked for the good first half of their time together which surprised girl. Girl only sporadically sees boy, even though they’re in the same major in a very small program. Boy potentially had a girlfriend. Boy did not have a girlfriend. Girl is very, very confused.

Honestly, at the beginning, I was frustrated. It seemed so simple! I wasn’t crazy about this hot and cold thing, and I was pretty sure that the hot and cold thing barely had anything to do with me. After feeling like it had been a lot of work on my part and very little on his, I decided to call it quits, and just wait it out for a while. The plan was to get him out of my system completely. At the time, it was possible he had a girlfriend and the plan was working… until I found out he didn’t. By that time, I was entertained by the possibility but quickly reminded myself not to get too wrapped up. Right now, especially at the beginning of my journey, the last thing I needed to do was emotionally entangle myself with someone that didn’t quite seem available yet – actually, emotionally, etc.

With Mr. Doe Brown Eyes, I’m learning how to patient. Now may not be a good time, which means all I can do is not get too attached, and wait for a better time. If there is no better time, that’s okay as well. Whether or not there is a right time for us romantically, I can't help but love the emotionally guarded. I'm not quite sure whether it's the appeal of the challenge or love to be that person for someone, but I somehow can't resist.

And Mr. Doe Brown Eyes is one guarded fella.

Until next time.

-- J