love: fall-ing.

courtesy of weheartit.com

 

It's that time of the year – no, I’m not talking about Christmas; not that time of the year. The leaves start to change and the chilly weather begins to trickle in bit by bit. The cardigans and heavier sweaters are brought out, every single store is selling some kind of pumpkin spice latte whatevers, and Halloween is on every mind.  

It's all starting to hit me that this whole college thing is real; I'm here for the next four years and no matter how much it seems like it, it's not summer camp. While some friendships become stronger, others start to weaken as we begin to find out more and more about the kind of person they are. Friends start to couple up, everyone's settling into a rhythm, and everything begins to seem more permanent.

That's right, folks. Fall is officially here.

I know, I know. I have a Romanticist's point of view of Fall, but can you blame a girl if she wants to sit on a bench in Central Park while a rich, golden orange colored leaves fall around her as "Autumn in New York" plays in the background? What can I say? I love a good Louis/Ella duet.

There’s always this feeling of nostalgia and ending when Fall comes. On second thought, I take that back. The arrival of Fall signifies and ending and a new beginning. We say goodbye to those glorious, hot, careless summer days, and invite that sometimes cold, sometimes breezy Fall weather in along with that warm, fuzzy feeling that makes you just want to curl up with a boy and a good sweater.

I don’t know about you guys, but Fall is always on top of bringing me these two things.

On top of that, Fall, is bringing me something else: the importance of patience.

It all started with Mr. Doe Brown Eyes, a guy that had (and still has) me on the edge of my seat since 'hello'.  It was a wacky scenario. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl talked for the good first half of their time together which surprised girl. Girl only sporadically sees boy, even though they’re in the same major in a very small program. Boy potentially had a girlfriend. Boy did not have a girlfriend. Girl is very, very confused.

Honestly, at the beginning, I was frustrated. It seemed so simple! I wasn’t crazy about this hot and cold thing, and I was pretty sure that the hot and cold thing barely had anything to do with me. After feeling like it had been a lot of work on my part and very little on his, I decided to call it quits, and just wait it out for a while. The plan was to get him out of my system completely. At the time, it was possible he had a girlfriend and the plan was working… until I found out he didn’t. By that time, I was entertained by the possibility but quickly reminded myself not to get too wrapped up. Right now, especially at the beginning of my journey, the last thing I needed to do was emotionally entangle myself with someone that didn’t quite seem available yet – actually, emotionally, etc.

With Mr. Doe Brown Eyes, I’m learning how to patient. Now may not be a good time, which means all I can do is not get too attached, and wait for a better time. If there is no better time, that’s okay as well. Whether or not there is a right time for us romantically, I can't help but love the emotionally guarded. I'm not quite sure whether it's the appeal of the challenge or love to be that person for someone, but I somehow can't resist.

And Mr. Doe Brown Eyes is one guarded fella.

Until next time.

-- J

love: the hookup culture

What used to seem so strange is now a common phrase: “Oh, no. I’m not the relationship type.” Now, call me old fashioned, but what is so wrong with relationships nowadays? I was reading an article in The Atlantic about “the hook up culture” and as a college student, couldn’t help thinking about the idea.

Now let me get this straight. I don’t have a problem at all with hookups. This is not a post to bash them. To be honest, hookups are harmless when both parties agree for them to be no strings attached. The story goes like this: boy meets girl. Girl and boy flirt. Boy and girl kiss (or more). And then boy and girl aren't required to necessarily see or hear from each other again.

But still, there is that rush and happy afterglow from kissing someone new for the first time; You've been flirting with a guy all evening and finally, you've won your chase. And let's be honest, it's just plain fun. On top of that, hookups come with that feeling you get when you're control. For a lot of us girls, it used to be the guys breaking our hearts because they weren’t the relationship type. I don’t know about you guys, but those were the boy-lessons learned in high school for me. But now the tables are turned. We’re on the same page and are equal players in their game.

It’s a win-win situation, right?

I’m not too sure.

Call me a sucker for romance, but I sure while it’s all fun and games, what doesn't come with it, is the ever-lingering butterflies, blushing, and courting till the end of the day -- day after day. Yes, I do suffer from school-girl-crushitis.

Just last weekend, I met a guy at a party -- we'll call him Roux for anonymity -- and we hit it off pretty quickly. The next thing I knew, Roux and I were kissing in the kitchen while everyone else was otherwise occupied. I guess this was our way of getting to know each other. I thought of making contact the next day, but dismissed the idea. What Roux and I had was great chemistry, not "true love", and I was perfectly okay with that.

But while waking up the next morning and recalling the events of the previous night, I had a thought. In the moment, yes, it was quite enjoyable, but in the long run, I realized a hookup would only provide me with temporary happiness. Why is it that hookups are something that seem so satisfying in today's modern world? Have we really let ourselves simply follow our impulses and how do our feelings play into them? Is what we want as human beings changing?

 

And I realized another thing this weekend. At the heart of the matter, I really am a relationship girl.

For now,

-- J

listen: that morning sky gave me a look...

"Half Moon" by Blind Pilot

"So hold high, have faith, your reasons/Don't you forget you come from nothing..."

 

I chose "Half Moon" by Blind Pilot to kick start Music Mondays because for me, it marks a beginning. The sound itself makes me feel refreshed - as if I've gotten a fresh start; clean slate. It reminds me of morning - just that feeling you have when you first get up. It's the start of a new day and you can tackle anything. It reminds me of the sounds of birds chirping and that crisp morning air that you know will only last for a little longer.

It's nice to have some good alternative pop that isn't too "hipster" (nothing against hipster music. I'm just not a huge fan) It's a new school year and fall is looming. So for all those ready for a clean slate, give it a listen...

 

- J

once upon a time...

photo credit: weheartit.com


Once upon a time, Cinderella went to the ball, fell in love with the prince, and lived happily ever after. Sounds familiar, right? But let's not forget that Cinderella never had to worry about maintaining a reasonable GPA, a fitness obsessed society, and the ever changing world; on the other hand, prince charming certainly never showed up in a toga with a red solo cup in hand. Does anyone else feel like this story is just the tiniest bit outdated?

But yet, all good stories start with "once upon a time." While this phrase implies a "happily ever after" to follow, I'd like to look at it as just a beginning. And it is.

Currently, I'm a freshman in college and that is a huge beginning to itself. As of now, I'm attempting to navigate all of the new aspects of my life just being thrown at me. Sometimes, I feel like with all this new stuff, it's like the mother bird that throws its children out of the nest and chirps: "Fly, birds!" and that's exactly what I want to write about: that experience itself in life and love.

The Single Girl In Love is about me, "J," the single girl, exploring the three loves of my life: food, music, and love. I want to share with you some of my favorite recipes, along with tips and tricks I've picked up on the way. I'd also like to have a weekly feature called "Music Mondays" to share a song. I'm a strong believer that music can change a mood in a second. At least it does for me and I want to share those songs! When it comes to love, this is where I get to unleash my inner Carrie Bradshaw. I want to share my journey of finding, losing, and keeping love in my life, whether it be romantic, friendly, or familial. Essentially, I want to share my story - one that's waiting to be written - just like Cinderella's regardless of a "happily ever after."

I want to enjoy cooking till the day I die.  

I want each and every song to hold a memory - I want to be able to tell my story through music (e.g. "this song came out when I had my first boyfriend" "I listened to Colbie Caillat while unpacking my dorm". You get the jist.)

I want to fall utterly, entirely, and completely head over heels in love - someday.

eat. listen. love.

-- J