love: the hookup culture

What used to seem so strange is now a common phrase: “Oh, no. I’m not the relationship type.” Now, call me old fashioned, but what is so wrong with relationships nowadays? I was reading an article in The Atlantic about “the hook up culture” and as a college student, couldn’t help thinking about the idea.

Now let me get this straight. I don’t have a problem at all with hookups. This is not a post to bash them. To be honest, hookups are harmless when both parties agree for them to be no strings attached. The story goes like this: boy meets girl. Girl and boy flirt. Boy and girl kiss (or more). And then boy and girl aren't required to necessarily see or hear from each other again.

But still, there is that rush and happy afterglow from kissing someone new for the first time; You've been flirting with a guy all evening and finally, you've won your chase. And let's be honest, it's just plain fun. On top of that, hookups come with that feeling you get when you're control. For a lot of us girls, it used to be the guys breaking our hearts because they weren’t the relationship type. I don’t know about you guys, but those were the boy-lessons learned in high school for me. But now the tables are turned. We’re on the same page and are equal players in their game.

It’s a win-win situation, right?

I’m not too sure.

Call me a sucker for romance, but I sure while it’s all fun and games, what doesn't come with it, is the ever-lingering butterflies, blushing, and courting till the end of the day -- day after day. Yes, I do suffer from school-girl-crushitis.

Just last weekend, I met a guy at a party -- we'll call him Roux for anonymity -- and we hit it off pretty quickly. The next thing I knew, Roux and I were kissing in the kitchen while everyone else was otherwise occupied. I guess this was our way of getting to know each other. I thought of making contact the next day, but dismissed the idea. What Roux and I had was great chemistry, not "true love", and I was perfectly okay with that.

But while waking up the next morning and recalling the events of the previous night, I had a thought. In the moment, yes, it was quite enjoyable, but in the long run, I realized a hookup would only provide me with temporary happiness. Why is it that hookups are something that seem so satisfying in today's modern world? Have we really let ourselves simply follow our impulses and how do our feelings play into them? Is what we want as human beings changing?

 

And I realized another thing this weekend. At the heart of the matter, I really am a relationship girl.

For now,

-- J

listen: that morning sky gave me a look...

"Half Moon" by Blind Pilot

"So hold high, have faith, your reasons/Don't you forget you come from nothing..."

 

I chose "Half Moon" by Blind Pilot to kick start Music Mondays because for me, it marks a beginning. The sound itself makes me feel refreshed - as if I've gotten a fresh start; clean slate. It reminds me of morning - just that feeling you have when you first get up. It's the start of a new day and you can tackle anything. It reminds me of the sounds of birds chirping and that crisp morning air that you know will only last for a little longer.

It's nice to have some good alternative pop that isn't too "hipster" (nothing against hipster music. I'm just not a huge fan) It's a new school year and fall is looming. So for all those ready for a clean slate, give it a listen...

 

- J

once upon a time...

photo credit: weheartit.com


Once upon a time, Cinderella went to the ball, fell in love with the prince, and lived happily ever after. Sounds familiar, right? But let's not forget that Cinderella never had to worry about maintaining a reasonable GPA, a fitness obsessed society, and the ever changing world; on the other hand, prince charming certainly never showed up in a toga with a red solo cup in hand. Does anyone else feel like this story is just the tiniest bit outdated?

But yet, all good stories start with "once upon a time." While this phrase implies a "happily ever after" to follow, I'd like to look at it as just a beginning. And it is.

Currently, I'm a freshman in college and that is a huge beginning to itself. As of now, I'm attempting to navigate all of the new aspects of my life just being thrown at me. Sometimes, I feel like with all this new stuff, it's like the mother bird that throws its children out of the nest and chirps: "Fly, birds!" and that's exactly what I want to write about: that experience itself in life and love.

The Single Girl In Love is about me, "J," the single girl, exploring the three loves of my life: food, music, and love. I want to share with you some of my favorite recipes, along with tips and tricks I've picked up on the way. I'd also like to have a weekly feature called "Music Mondays" to share a song. I'm a strong believer that music can change a mood in a second. At least it does for me and I want to share those songs! When it comes to love, this is where I get to unleash my inner Carrie Bradshaw. I want to share my journey of finding, losing, and keeping love in my life, whether it be romantic, friendly, or familial. Essentially, I want to share my story - one that's waiting to be written - just like Cinderella's regardless of a "happily ever after."

I want to enjoy cooking till the day I die.  

I want each and every song to hold a memory - I want to be able to tell my story through music (e.g. "this song came out when I had my first boyfriend" "I listened to Colbie Caillat while unpacking my dorm". You get the jist.)

I want to fall utterly, entirely, and completely head over heels in love - someday.

eat. listen. love.

-- J